Coffee and the apple in my eye

So this morning as I drank my coffee and chatted with God, I was talking about some things that are troubling me. I said that I know he has laid a path for me, but it is so difficult right now. I feel like path that Dorothy and her companions took to get to the Emerald City seems similar, especially where the nice fruit trees turn into beings that start throwing fruit at them. Yeah. That seems about right. When I told God this, he laughed and said how much he likes that movie. I looked at him and reminded him about the part when they got to the Emerald City and they found that the wizard was a man behind the curtain. He then looked at me and said, "So I guess you're having a bit of trouble with your faith right now, huh."

"Yes, in fact, I am. I'm angry too. I feel that my guides on this path are deceivers. I don't know who to trust. You led me here. I want to do your work. I thought that's why You brought me to this place. Now I don't know who to turn to. Everything is changing. I'm also scared. As we discussed yesterday, God, I have limits and this path is becoming painful and exhausting. I'm tired. I've been walking in faith, God, but am on faith reserves now. Actually, its more like fumes. I'm disappointed in those who were supposed to be my guides. We seem to be in agreement, then they change my words and their words, then I'm not so sure they were ever in agreement. These are the people I thought were supposed to shape me now. I'm exhausted from doing what I've been asked to do, and not even being met half way by these people. I'm frustrated having my the words of my intentions twisted around. I thought I was clear. I shared what I thought You put in my heart. Now I doubt everything," I ranted to God as he sipped his coffee.

God put his coffee down and said, "All earthly beings are imperfect. I made them that way so they can hopefully evolve--that includes you. Are those people really deceivers or are they dealing with their own imperfections? Are you looking for validation for the anointing I have already given you? You don't need their validation. You know the truth of your anointing and your work. Why do you look for validation of that? Are you letting others get in the way of doing that? Is not holding my hand in faith enough?"

Ok God, so You've given me a lot to think about. This is going to require a second cup of coffee. I will reflect on this and get back to you.

God got up, gave me a hug and said, "You know how to reach me." He put his earbuds in and started singing the song he put in my head and heart yesterday, but changed some of the words.

I made you
I made you who you are

I stopped him and said, "Hey God, the George Michaels-type voice isn't working for me here."

"Cool. I am, that I am and I am also the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir."

Then I heard the choir.

You are a conqueror
Your are victorious
You're can't be stopped
(Basses singing additional verse) Unless you want
You can't be stopped
(Basses singing additional verse) Unless you want
You're a believer
You're an achiever
Now don't be blocked
Now don't be blocked

Hey God! That's pretty cool!

Coffee prayer for today comes from Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. NIV

On Dealing with Physical Limitations
Coffee with God - March 27, 2012

This morning I was feeling a bit grumpy when I had coffee with God. My neck hurt. My hip hurt. I didn't sleep well because of my hip so I am tired. Being tired and being in pain do not make for a happy me. God knows this already. He likes for me to tell him anyway. He is my comforter.

I am grappling to come to terms with the fact that I am older and that my body has more limitations than it used to. I'm coming to terms with the fact that my body doesn't recover from things as quickly as it used to. I'm trying to accept that some things like my arthritis are the way they are, and there's not a lot I can do about it. The overall acceptance of this requires me make certain changes in my lifestyle which I'm trying to do in a loving way. There's a part of me that is kicking and screaming though. The thought of having a permanent pain in my ass does not appeal to me. Having arthritis between C6, C7 and T1 is beginning to cause some neurological problems in my hand. This isn't going to go away. The foot I had surgery on several years ago hurts too. Yes, I know I'm whining. Hey, its my blog and and I'll whine if I want to.

Drat! When did I cross the line to old-fartdom! How do I embrace this with grace? I'm to young for this. There's so much I have and need to do. I looked at God and said, "SO....what do I do here?"

Then God spoke to my heart. While this is time of slowing down, this is also the time of amends to myself. It is a time of healing. It is a to listen and adhere to the limitations of my body so that He can move my spirit to places that are limitless. It is a time of grace and awe.

Wow! As I finished my coffee I noticed my hip and neck were not quite as sore. My spirit was lifted.

My coffee prayer for today.

God, as I struggle to accept and embrace my physical limitations, let me not lose sight of the way you are lifting my spirit to do your work. Help me to find the balance between what I need to do for myself and what I need to do for you. Love, Your loving and faithful coffee bud, L.

Coffee With God - Thursday, March 22, 2012

My morning ritual of begins with coffee. I love my coffee in the morning. I usually go outside somewhere where there is some sort of nature around. Besides having my coffee, it is also a time of prayer. I call it Coffee With God. It is a time when God and I chat. I've talked about my morning coffee with God with some friends. One suggested that I should blog about it so others can read it. So here it is.

I have a personal relationship with God. He accepts me for who I am and where I'm at. He meets me there. He deals with me there. I can be happy, elated, scared, angry, a nut-job, or whatever state of mind I'm in, and He loves me regardless. There have been times when I've been pretty angry at Him, and He still meets me there. I talk to God as I'd talk to anyone. For some reason, canned prayer doesn't do it for me when I talk with Him. I just let Him know what's going on. I do this in the morning over coffee. So this is the start of my blog. I hope those of you who read it, enjoy it.